I am so tired of doing everything myself. He doesnt help clean, or pick up after himself for that matter. Doesnt cook but will bitch at me when I dont want to cook.
A couple days ago he called me a bad mother again. I dont care if he was jokeing or not that is not something to say.
He also tends to make plans and not tell me until the last minute. He told me thursday night we may be going on a trip friday morning. There was nothing packed, no plans made for someone to feed and take care of the pets, and we had no money to go. Then this morning he told me he was going to work out after work after I just told him I have a meeting at 6:30. Then he expects me to pack all the kids into the car and have him pick them up with my car to take them home. It is one thing if there is no way around it but he doesnt need to go and do this tonight. Then he tells me he cant get out of it because he is a "man of his word" what bull shit. If he was a man of his word there is a lot of things he would have done for me and the family along time ago.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
The Last 4 years
In the last 4 years I have been though a lot and done alot of nothing at the same time.
During my pregnancy in 2008 I started to knotest my life repeating itself. We moved yet again into a 4 bedroom house. My parents came out to a visit in early 08 and helped me unpack some. He went of for some new training. His mother whom I hate came for christmas 08 and was there to watch the kids while I had Baby number 3.
Within a couple of months have having my son we started fighting again. It seems like if I am not prego we fight and when I was prego life was good. I asked him if this is the way he felt. I should be barefoot and prego all the time. He said no but I am not sure if I should believe him.
My sex drive went way down after having baby number 3 and he didnt understand why. He tryed several times to get me to go get help. I was just not interested. It got to the point were he would grop me when ever I passed by him. I cant sit near him or walk past him without him touching my breast. I feel so violated. I would tell him no but he just keeps on doing it. I tryed to tell him no for sex. Most nights he would get so pissed I thought he was going to hit me. He goes into his depresive state where he sits on the coach and does nothing, doesnt talk or when he does he is yelling. I will only deal with this for a couple of days before finally giving in and let him get what he wants.
He has become semi-vilent in bed too. There has been several times where I have passed out from him chocking me and I would wake up to him still going at it. He didnt even know. I will cry and scream for him to stop but it is like it turns him on. I did ask for some way to change up the ruten alittle but was not looking for this. I have tryed to talk to him about it but he just ignors me. I can not sleep some night because hetends to rub is hard penis all over me. or tryed to rape me in my sleep which he has done on several occations.
So now I am stuck in a forin country with a sick prervert and no way out.
We were only suppost to be here for 3 years but he decided to extend our stay. He asked me if I wanted to and I pleaded to go back to the US. Finally after the 9th or 10th time of him asking me what I wanted to do I blew up and told him to do what ever he wants because he will do it anyway. So he extended. He are now here until 2014.
One day I got home from the grocery store and walked down to talk to a friend. He comes running down the street screaming about how we should not smoke in the car. His car. I know we had talked about it. I know he smokes in the car when he goes to work though. I was so imbareds I begain to cry right there in the middle of the street. He didnt care. My friend comfortend me and I eventually went back to the house he here more about how I should not be smoking in the car. I was a bad mother to be putting my kids at risk, as so on.
He left for some more training in 2010 for 2 months. I took this time to talk to some counclers and someone with legal training. Legal told me we would have to be separated for 1 year for them to help. I have a file with the counclers though with everything he has done. All I need to do is make the call and he will be pulled from the house for no less than 3 days no contact. I can then have this extended and put into motion everything that would get me back to the states. However I am so scared to do this. I am afraid he will come after me and try to hurt me or the kids.
Trying to keep me here longer he got me a cat for my birthday in 2009. The following year just as I was getting things sorted out he bought me a car for my birthday. I love the car but i know it is just his way to try and keep me here. So I live on walking on eggshells trying not to make him mad and have him blow up. Sometimes I think about doing something to make him mad just so I can call the police on him and get home but then where do I go. How will I have money to live off of and take care of my kids. I have had several oppurtunitys to just not come back. But I cant put the kids in that kind of a situation. They are my life.
During my pregnancy in 2008 I started to knotest my life repeating itself. We moved yet again into a 4 bedroom house. My parents came out to a visit in early 08 and helped me unpack some. He went of for some new training. His mother whom I hate came for christmas 08 and was there to watch the kids while I had Baby number 3.
Within a couple of months have having my son we started fighting again. It seems like if I am not prego we fight and when I was prego life was good. I asked him if this is the way he felt. I should be barefoot and prego all the time. He said no but I am not sure if I should believe him.
My sex drive went way down after having baby number 3 and he didnt understand why. He tryed several times to get me to go get help. I was just not interested. It got to the point were he would grop me when ever I passed by him. I cant sit near him or walk past him without him touching my breast. I feel so violated. I would tell him no but he just keeps on doing it. I tryed to tell him no for sex. Most nights he would get so pissed I thought he was going to hit me. He goes into his depresive state where he sits on the coach and does nothing, doesnt talk or when he does he is yelling. I will only deal with this for a couple of days before finally giving in and let him get what he wants.
He has become semi-vilent in bed too. There has been several times where I have passed out from him chocking me and I would wake up to him still going at it. He didnt even know. I will cry and scream for him to stop but it is like it turns him on. I did ask for some way to change up the ruten alittle but was not looking for this. I have tryed to talk to him about it but he just ignors me. I can not sleep some night because hetends to rub is hard penis all over me. or tryed to rape me in my sleep which he has done on several occations.
So now I am stuck in a forin country with a sick prervert and no way out.
We were only suppost to be here for 3 years but he decided to extend our stay. He asked me if I wanted to and I pleaded to go back to the US. Finally after the 9th or 10th time of him asking me what I wanted to do I blew up and told him to do what ever he wants because he will do it anyway. So he extended. He are now here until 2014.
One day I got home from the grocery store and walked down to talk to a friend. He comes running down the street screaming about how we should not smoke in the car. His car. I know we had talked about it. I know he smokes in the car when he goes to work though. I was so imbareds I begain to cry right there in the middle of the street. He didnt care. My friend comfortend me and I eventually went back to the house he here more about how I should not be smoking in the car. I was a bad mother to be putting my kids at risk, as so on.
He left for some more training in 2010 for 2 months. I took this time to talk to some counclers and someone with legal training. Legal told me we would have to be separated for 1 year for them to help. I have a file with the counclers though with everything he has done. All I need to do is make the call and he will be pulled from the house for no less than 3 days no contact. I can then have this extended and put into motion everything that would get me back to the states. However I am so scared to do this. I am afraid he will come after me and try to hurt me or the kids.
Trying to keep me here longer he got me a cat for my birthday in 2009. The following year just as I was getting things sorted out he bought me a car for my birthday. I love the car but i know it is just his way to try and keep me here. So I live on walking on eggshells trying not to make him mad and have him blow up. Sometimes I think about doing something to make him mad just so I can call the police on him and get home but then where do I go. How will I have money to live off of and take care of my kids. I have had several oppurtunitys to just not come back. But I cant put the kids in that kind of a situation. They are my life.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Moving to Europe
After going home with him he made promisses of going to get help for his anger, dipression, drinking, and that we would go to marriege councling. This didnt happen.
We moved to Europe where I am currently writing this from in December of 2007. Shortly after getting here I regreted having come. We fought alot. I decided to find a way to get back to the US and was looking up plane tickets. He decided he was going to start spying on everything I do. He came accross some pictures of me and the guy I was seeing in the states while he was gone, and decided he was going to start reading all my mail, emails, blogs, and hack into my myspace and email accounts to do it.
One day while looking at airline tickets and planing my way back he asked me about the pictures I admitted to the short afare and he became fuiours. There were some gifts the other guy had given me in the living room. A ceramic tea set, and some Japanese scrolls. They were sitting on a shelf with some peices of similar items from my grandmother. He then started picking up pieces of the tea set along with items from my grandmother and smashing them on the ground. Yelling and cusing at me while all this was happening. I tryed to get him to stop but he just keep going. One item that he broke I watched as a piece flow across the room and nearly missed my oldest daughts head. I then ran both the girls to there room and asked them to stay there and play.
After coming back out I found he was taking my butcher knife to the scrolls. I pleaded with him to stop. He had not even notested the kids were in the room at the start of the rampage. I was then on the floor crying and not sure what to do. He had stopped at this point demanding I pick up the pieces and throw it away. He sat on the coach and watched tv while I picked up pieces of brocken ceramic and cloth from this disrtuction then checked in on the kids. I found they were upset because they didnt know why Daddy was mad and I tryed my best to calm them down.
Being new to the area I didnt know who to call or where to go for help. I decided to make one last attemped with him to try and work something out before leaving. He then agreed for a second time to go to marriage councling but I was wary about him sticking to it. He had promissed this before and didnt follow through.
We started marriage concling a couple weeks later and worked a couple of things out. Really I gave in to alot and he didnt do much other than complain on how I was not trying to make this work. I wanted to show him I was trying and gave him access to my email account closed out acouple of accounts and showed him i did so. I was now under lock and key. I had no privacy and was never left alone. I in the process convinced myself that this is what needed to be done in order to get things to work. We started talking to one another about our feeling and begain working together. I thought all was great.
One day I felt really sick and could not keep anything down. I was shaking uncontrolably and lying nacked on the cool bathroom tyle floor to keep myself cool becuase I felt like I was buring up. He walks into the bathroom sees me there and askes if I am ok. Before I have a chance to answer that I was not he closes the door and leaves. I layed there for several hours trying to gain enough energy to move. I finally got up and put on a bathrob. I went out to the kitchen to get something to eat and something to drink. I found him watching TV like normal. He didnt even ask me if I was ok. This passed and I didnt touch it again until our next coucling setion. He then told me he thought I wanted him to leave. I ignored him and we started on another topic.
Our sex life had picked up again and we found out shortly after I was now prego with number 3. We decided with this our relationship was going good and we were going to stop going to councling. The pregnancy went good. I was happy to have his help. Our son was born in the winter of 2008. We seemed to be one big happy family. My husband made the sole disition to get a vesectimy after I went in for my 6 week checkup. I was not so shore he should but it was done and over with before I had a chance to talk to him about it. when he was done I talked with the doc about the procedure and what he needed to do to keep everything clean and whatnot. I found there was a small problem with the procedure. Becuase of the problem he was to come in and be tested several time to be sure it worked out right. He only went for testing one time.
We moved to Europe where I am currently writing this from in December of 2007. Shortly after getting here I regreted having come. We fought alot. I decided to find a way to get back to the US and was looking up plane tickets. He decided he was going to start spying on everything I do. He came accross some pictures of me and the guy I was seeing in the states while he was gone, and decided he was going to start reading all my mail, emails, blogs, and hack into my myspace and email accounts to do it.
One day while looking at airline tickets and planing my way back he asked me about the pictures I admitted to the short afare and he became fuiours. There were some gifts the other guy had given me in the living room. A ceramic tea set, and some Japanese scrolls. They were sitting on a shelf with some peices of similar items from my grandmother. He then started picking up pieces of the tea set along with items from my grandmother and smashing them on the ground. Yelling and cusing at me while all this was happening. I tryed to get him to stop but he just keep going. One item that he broke I watched as a piece flow across the room and nearly missed my oldest daughts head. I then ran both the girls to there room and asked them to stay there and play.
After coming back out I found he was taking my butcher knife to the scrolls. I pleaded with him to stop. He had not even notested the kids were in the room at the start of the rampage. I was then on the floor crying and not sure what to do. He had stopped at this point demanding I pick up the pieces and throw it away. He sat on the coach and watched tv while I picked up pieces of brocken ceramic and cloth from this disrtuction then checked in on the kids. I found they were upset because they didnt know why Daddy was mad and I tryed my best to calm them down.
Being new to the area I didnt know who to call or where to go for help. I decided to make one last attemped with him to try and work something out before leaving. He then agreed for a second time to go to marriage councling but I was wary about him sticking to it. He had promissed this before and didnt follow through.
We started marriage concling a couple weeks later and worked a couple of things out. Really I gave in to alot and he didnt do much other than complain on how I was not trying to make this work. I wanted to show him I was trying and gave him access to my email account closed out acouple of accounts and showed him i did so. I was now under lock and key. I had no privacy and was never left alone. I in the process convinced myself that this is what needed to be done in order to get things to work. We started talking to one another about our feeling and begain working together. I thought all was great.
One day I felt really sick and could not keep anything down. I was shaking uncontrolably and lying nacked on the cool bathroom tyle floor to keep myself cool becuase I felt like I was buring up. He walks into the bathroom sees me there and askes if I am ok. Before I have a chance to answer that I was not he closes the door and leaves. I layed there for several hours trying to gain enough energy to move. I finally got up and put on a bathrob. I went out to the kitchen to get something to eat and something to drink. I found him watching TV like normal. He didnt even ask me if I was ok. This passed and I didnt touch it again until our next coucling setion. He then told me he thought I wanted him to leave. I ignored him and we started on another topic.
Our sex life had picked up again and we found out shortly after I was now prego with number 3. We decided with this our relationship was going good and we were going to stop going to councling. The pregnancy went good. I was happy to have his help. Our son was born in the winter of 2008. We seemed to be one big happy family. My husband made the sole disition to get a vesectimy after I went in for my 6 week checkup. I was not so shore he should but it was done and over with before I had a chance to talk to him about it. when he was done I talked with the doc about the procedure and what he needed to do to keep everything clean and whatnot. I found there was a small problem with the procedure. Becuase of the problem he was to come in and be tested several time to be sure it worked out right. He only went for testing one time.
Friday, April 29, 2011
When things started going really wrong
It is now September of 2005 I have 2 beautiful little girls who are my hole life. I live in a 3 bedroom house and was doing ok so I thought. I had some rough times but was so far gone in my own world I didn't even notest what I was doing. I was in denial that I was having problems and needed help. It took a couple of nabors and some really close friends to step in and help me look at my life. I was mad at first and didn't want to believe them. I felt betrayed but looking back now I know they were only trying to help. I was seen for postpartum depression for several months until I felt I had everything under control.
My husband was home for a short 8 months before deciding to go back out for another long term project. I was happy for him to be gone this time because after getting back the first time things were not good. We would fight constantly over the littlest thing. Money, discipline for the kids, and sex were the biggest thing. He tended to go overboard with the discipline for the kids and after not being there for more than a year he thought he could just jump into everything all at once. I spent more than a year being a single mom, trying to do everything and it was like that was all taken away in an instant.
The worst part of all this is I didn't even notest at first what was going on. I was happy for him to be home but it seemed all of the sudden I had a third kid that expected me to do everything I was doing plus find time to do everything he wished of me. I was to cook every meal, clean the entire house from top to bottom everyday, have dinner on the table when he got home from work, make sure the kids did what they were supposed to and behaved like adults every moment of everyday and I did this liked asked every moment of every day without companying.
He then stepped in for things like finances and discipline. Two things I had work every hard on and we didn't see eye to eye on. He was very cruel with punishment. He would have my 2 year old doing military style PT and would get in her face and yell at her like she was in boot camp. I tried to step in and instead him stopping and calming down he would become furious and direct his anger toward me. He had yet to hit me but would yell and scream the most obscene offensive things. I took it all with stride and would still go on with my day like nothing happened but it slowly was eating me up inside. If he felt that the kids had done deserved them to get a spanking he would hit them so hard and went overboard on how many he would give them. I found bruises on there bottoms on several occasions but didn't know what to do about it. I felt like I couldn't protect my own kids.
One time I remember clearly, We were all sitting around eating. I was still breast feeding my now 4 month old and she was hungry too. She was in a bouncy chair in the living room screaming. He was getting upset with the fact that she was screaming and I though he was going to pick her up to calm her down so I could finish eating. Instead he picked her up by the leg and started shaking her. I just up almost pushing the hole table over to get to her. I grabbed her and he stomped his way upstairs slamming the door behind him. I should have grabbed both the kids and left but didn't know what to do or where to go so I stayed.
The one and only time he has ever hit me I remember clearly. He can be a smart ass with some of the sarcastic comments he makes. He said something that I didn't think was that funny. I smacked him upside the backside of his head and he out of response punch forward hitting me in the chest. I knocked the wind out of me. I ran upstairs to get out of his way. Some people think I am trying to find a way to make it ok that he did this and maybe I am but this is the one and only time he ever did this so I have come to think it was not on purpose.
He left to another year long project in august of 2006. I took this time to look at my life. Where it is and where I want it to be. I tried to take some college classes unsuccessfully for the 2nd time. I spent allot of time out of the house, partying, clubbing finding every reason not to be where his memories would be there. I meet someone one night and not thinking much about what I was doing I took him home and stayed for a little while.
Over the next couple of months I got to know this person and came to the retaliation that the way I was being treated by my husband was not ok. I decided I wanted to leave and started planing how I would do it. The guy I was spending time with was getting ready to move which made me sad to see him go but I had some much to thank him for he is one of several people to help me understand my life and open up my eyes to see what life is really about.
My husband came home and I still was unsure what I would do. He then started talking about moving us all to Europe for a couple of years for work. I didn't want to go with him so one day while he was at work. I started loading up the car with what I could and moved in with a friend. Later that night he showed up on her door step uninvited and unannounced. We talked for a couple of minutes and he gave me an ultimatum. I needed to go with him and talk things through or he would be taking the only car and I would be stuck out in the middle of no where. I decided to go with him and there is not a day that goes by I don't regret this decision.
In October 2006 I went in for my normal year checkup to find I had cancerous cells on my cervics. I told my husband scared and worried. He didnt have much of a reaction. I went into treatment by my self with no support and in the next 6 months had 3 biopsys and numerous appointment to get rid of it all. I continue to go every 6 months for an exam and so far all seems clear but it was an all new low in my life to be fighting for parts of my reproductive system and have no support in the process.
My husband was home for a short 8 months before deciding to go back out for another long term project. I was happy for him to be gone this time because after getting back the first time things were not good. We would fight constantly over the littlest thing. Money, discipline for the kids, and sex were the biggest thing. He tended to go overboard with the discipline for the kids and after not being there for more than a year he thought he could just jump into everything all at once. I spent more than a year being a single mom, trying to do everything and it was like that was all taken away in an instant.
The worst part of all this is I didn't even notest at first what was going on. I was happy for him to be home but it seemed all of the sudden I had a third kid that expected me to do everything I was doing plus find time to do everything he wished of me. I was to cook every meal, clean the entire house from top to bottom everyday, have dinner on the table when he got home from work, make sure the kids did what they were supposed to and behaved like adults every moment of everyday and I did this liked asked every moment of every day without companying.
He then stepped in for things like finances and discipline. Two things I had work every hard on and we didn't see eye to eye on. He was very cruel with punishment. He would have my 2 year old doing military style PT and would get in her face and yell at her like she was in boot camp. I tried to step in and instead him stopping and calming down he would become furious and direct his anger toward me. He had yet to hit me but would yell and scream the most obscene offensive things. I took it all with stride and would still go on with my day like nothing happened but it slowly was eating me up inside. If he felt that the kids had done deserved them to get a spanking he would hit them so hard and went overboard on how many he would give them. I found bruises on there bottoms on several occasions but didn't know what to do about it. I felt like I couldn't protect my own kids.
One time I remember clearly, We were all sitting around eating. I was still breast feeding my now 4 month old and she was hungry too. She was in a bouncy chair in the living room screaming. He was getting upset with the fact that she was screaming and I though he was going to pick her up to calm her down so I could finish eating. Instead he picked her up by the leg and started shaking her. I just up almost pushing the hole table over to get to her. I grabbed her and he stomped his way upstairs slamming the door behind him. I should have grabbed both the kids and left but didn't know what to do or where to go so I stayed.
The one and only time he has ever hit me I remember clearly. He can be a smart ass with some of the sarcastic comments he makes. He said something that I didn't think was that funny. I smacked him upside the backside of his head and he out of response punch forward hitting me in the chest. I knocked the wind out of me. I ran upstairs to get out of his way. Some people think I am trying to find a way to make it ok that he did this and maybe I am but this is the one and only time he ever did this so I have come to think it was not on purpose.
He left to another year long project in august of 2006. I took this time to look at my life. Where it is and where I want it to be. I tried to take some college classes unsuccessfully for the 2nd time. I spent allot of time out of the house, partying, clubbing finding every reason not to be where his memories would be there. I meet someone one night and not thinking much about what I was doing I took him home and stayed for a little while.
Over the next couple of months I got to know this person and came to the retaliation that the way I was being treated by my husband was not ok. I decided I wanted to leave and started planing how I would do it. The guy I was spending time with was getting ready to move which made me sad to see him go but I had some much to thank him for he is one of several people to help me understand my life and open up my eyes to see what life is really about.
My husband came home and I still was unsure what I would do. He then started talking about moving us all to Europe for a couple of years for work. I didn't want to go with him so one day while he was at work. I started loading up the car with what I could and moved in with a friend. Later that night he showed up on her door step uninvited and unannounced. We talked for a couple of minutes and he gave me an ultimatum. I needed to go with him and talk things through or he would be taking the only car and I would be stuck out in the middle of no where. I decided to go with him and there is not a day that goes by I don't regret this decision.
In October 2006 I went in for my normal year checkup to find I had cancerous cells on my cervics. I told my husband scared and worried. He didnt have much of a reaction. I went into treatment by my self with no support and in the next 6 months had 3 biopsys and numerous appointment to get rid of it all. I continue to go every 6 months for an exam and so far all seems clear but it was an all new low in my life to be fighting for parts of my reproductive system and have no support in the process.
From the begining
I was married in December 2002 still in high school and 4 months prego. I thought this was the one. But allot of people think this from time to time and then find out later it is not true. We had never stayed with each other for a long time frame. Never lived with one another, and were still kids just trying to grow up too fast.
I managed to graduate the following may and less than a month later packed up my hole life including my new baby girl and my van and moved from AZ to GA without looking back. I was following my now husband to his new job. Away from all my friends and family. Away from anything familiar.
We arrived in Savannah, GA in June of 2003 moved into a small 2 bedroom apartment and we happy for a little while. Things slowly started to change between us but like most people in my situation I ignored the signs I was being given. I Walked from our apartment on numerous occasions the 3 1/2 miles to where he worked to pick up my van in order to get my little girl to Dr. Appointments or go to the grocery store. I didn't know anyone he worked with or anyone in the apartment complex for that matter. So with money tight and not knowing my way around the city I walked the shortest route I could to get things done.
After a year in this apartment it was time to move on due to an up in the rental price. We moved into a house closer to his work and I started meeting some of my nabors. They tried to tell me to be carful and look at what was happening, but I ignored them and went on thinking my life was as good as it could get.
After the move my van was having problems and was going to cost more to fix than it was worth so he made the dicision that we were going to trade it in and get a new car. I was excited about it until I found he took my name of the loan for the new car without consulting me because it would give us a better interest rate where the van I was the only one on the title and it was our trade in. He then told me he would put my name on the next vehicle after I got my credit score up.
Over the years I have had several jobs. I worked as a waitress, hostess, fast food cook/cashier, door to door sales for 2 differnt companies, photographer, grocery store cashier, jewerly sales. I tryed to go to bartending school to get a job but never used it. But everytime I get a job he complains that I am not making enough. We am I working. I dont need to be working. He house doesnt say clean when I am working. He doesnt like the daycare the kids go to. So time after time I end up quiting a job. Now I dont have enough experience in one area to get a decient pay when I do go try and get a job.
In 2005 I found out I was prego with number two this time alone do to a work trip he could not avoid. I sometimes thought I was his mistress with the way he was pulled away for work. But what can you do. I needed a bigger house so I moved from our 2 bedroom house to a 3 bedroom house with the help of a nabor at about 5-6 months prego. I found a close friend from high school was having some problems herself and to try and help both of us out I invited her to say with me until I she could get back on her feet in return for helping me take care of myself, my 2 year old daughter, and my now unborn child. She agreed and within weeks had moved in.
My husband was brought back to me shortly after my 2nd daughter was born. She was having complications breathing and the Dr. sent him a message about her progress. He was home in days. He was able to stay and help out for a couple of weeks but then had to return for the last couple of months of his current project.
I managed to graduate the following may and less than a month later packed up my hole life including my new baby girl and my van and moved from AZ to GA without looking back. I was following my now husband to his new job. Away from all my friends and family. Away from anything familiar.
We arrived in Savannah, GA in June of 2003 moved into a small 2 bedroom apartment and we happy for a little while. Things slowly started to change between us but like most people in my situation I ignored the signs I was being given. I Walked from our apartment on numerous occasions the 3 1/2 miles to where he worked to pick up my van in order to get my little girl to Dr. Appointments or go to the grocery store. I didn't know anyone he worked with or anyone in the apartment complex for that matter. So with money tight and not knowing my way around the city I walked the shortest route I could to get things done.
After a year in this apartment it was time to move on due to an up in the rental price. We moved into a house closer to his work and I started meeting some of my nabors. They tried to tell me to be carful and look at what was happening, but I ignored them and went on thinking my life was as good as it could get.
After the move my van was having problems and was going to cost more to fix than it was worth so he made the dicision that we were going to trade it in and get a new car. I was excited about it until I found he took my name of the loan for the new car without consulting me because it would give us a better interest rate where the van I was the only one on the title and it was our trade in. He then told me he would put my name on the next vehicle after I got my credit score up.
Over the years I have had several jobs. I worked as a waitress, hostess, fast food cook/cashier, door to door sales for 2 differnt companies, photographer, grocery store cashier, jewerly sales. I tryed to go to bartending school to get a job but never used it. But everytime I get a job he complains that I am not making enough. We am I working. I dont need to be working. He house doesnt say clean when I am working. He doesnt like the daycare the kids go to. So time after time I end up quiting a job. Now I dont have enough experience in one area to get a decient pay when I do go try and get a job.
In 2005 I found out I was prego with number two this time alone do to a work trip he could not avoid. I sometimes thought I was his mistress with the way he was pulled away for work. But what can you do. I needed a bigger house so I moved from our 2 bedroom house to a 3 bedroom house with the help of a nabor at about 5-6 months prego. I found a close friend from high school was having some problems herself and to try and help both of us out I invited her to say with me until I she could get back on her feet in return for helping me take care of myself, my 2 year old daughter, and my now unborn child. She agreed and within weeks had moved in.
My husband was brought back to me shortly after my 2nd daughter was born. She was having complications breathing and the Dr. sent him a message about her progress. He was home in days. He was able to stay and help out for a couple of weeks but then had to return for the last couple of months of his current project.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)